Betty is Cranky

A quick search on Google will lead you to a simple conclusion: Betty is cranky–with a capital C! The search I’m talking about is Plexus Reviews and you’ll find Betty on page 1. Betty, a 38 year old mother of two from Colorado, runs the website Plexus Point. A quick perusal of her site, and you’ll […]

The Toilet II – The sand lashes out

Don’t let the title fool you, this one’s all about the “sand”. They say that things happen in threes. I don’t know who “they” are, but they are wrong. For me, they’ve happened in dozens. The Toilet and The Sand are forever linked in my memory–not because of their similarities, but because of the timing. In […]

Police Officers

Florida woman told to ‘stop calling 911’ hours before being killed in shooting Before I start getting responses about how I’m denigrating our police officers, STOP. That is not the intent of this article, so please continue reading. Truth be told, I didn’t read this article. I didn’t need to because I know how it’s going […]

The Cat Calls Me Roger

It all started on a warm spring day… Ok, so maybe not, but wouldn’t you like to learn what “The Cat Calls Me Roger” is all about? Simply put, Roger is me. It is the story of things I have faced in my life, my family, the day-to-day struggles, the triumphs. I believe we all […]

Not right in the head

“You’re not right in the head!” I have heard this many times in my life. Some would say it’s because of my slightly warped sense of humor. Others would argue that it’s because of the 20 years of migraines. However, I believe it’s much simpler than that! Both of those things account for me being […]

Save the peanut

As I’m sitting here starting up for the day, I couldn’t help thinking what it was like to be a peanut. For those peanuts in a shell by themselves, do they get lonely? In the shells with 3 or more peanuts, is there more tension, infighting, etc? When they are shelled and thrown in a […]

The Famous Toilet Incident

Continuing a never ending string of unfortunate events, I present the cases of the toilet and the sand. The toilet in 1991 and then the sand in 1992. Even at this early date, the nature of my accidents were becoming famous. The Beginning In the beginning, lived a small boy named Scott. This young boy was […]

Donut holes have no calories

Factoid of the Day: Donut holes have no calories. I know, I was shocked too, but apparently it’s a fact. NOTE: These statements have not been endorsed by the FDA, CIA or the Clinton campaign and may not be recognized as fact by mainstream media. Understandably, many of you will be skeptical–I was too until […]

Chevrolet ended my soccer career

I remember it well–the day a Chevrolet ended my soccer career. It was a brisk, Saturday morning in early October when my dream came to a crashing end. My course of my life was permanently altered that day. How I got here It was 1987 (I was 11) and I was in the prime of my […]

Dad, you ain’t right

One of the most common phrases I hear around the house is “Dad, you ain’t right!”. I also hear “What is WRONG with you?” quite often as well. You could say that I got it from my family–you’d be wrong of course. For the most part, the sense of humor in the Haines family is […]

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