When will it come back? How long will I feel good? These two questions that I have found are fairly common for people suffering from chronic illness. Chronic migraine is no different. In 4 days, it will have been 10 weeks since my last migraine. It has been a wonderful ride so far, but those two questions linger in the back of my mind. How long can I remain migraine-free? How long can this trend continue? What will that next migraine be like after being pain free for so long?
One day at a time
One day at a time… That’s how you live life when you have a recurring illness for which there is no cure. You cherish every good day as if it’s the last. On the bad day, you have to find ways to muddle through crying out to God to make it stop. As a chronic migraine sufferer, I’ve been there and done that.
For the 4 years where I suffered almost daily, I frequently prayed for relief from the pain. There were also many days where my brain, head and body hurt so bad I could barely move. I remember thinking, “Is this how life is going to be? How long can I live like this?” Even now, during this very unprecedented time in my life, I wonder if this is going to last or how bad the next one will be. With each and every twinge of pain in my head, I wonder if the relief is over. Is today the day I return to my dark, quiet retreat?
Through it all
To those of you NOT suffering daily, this may seem like a cynical way to live but this is just how it is. However, through it all, lessons have been learned to help me (us) cope. I know that the Lord has always been there with me and prayer does work. With prayer, comes a peace that helps take the pain away. From a less spiritual sense, I have also learned many coping techniques.
Not to be a cynic, but I don’t believe that I’ll ever be head/brain pain free. The sunlight still causes similar symptoms and I still have slight twinges of pain on a daily basis. Fortunately during all of the bad times, I’ve learned relaxation techniques, pressure therapy and other things that help ease this pain before it becomes a migraine. However, the cynic in me still prepares for the day that the migraines return.
Will it be today? Tomorrow? Next Thursday? Fourteen Friday’s from Christmas 2021? There is only One who but in the meantime, all I can do is live one day at time. The fact that I still do have pain from time to time tells me that they aren’t completely gone. I will have another one and the latest symptoms tell me that it will be sooner rather than later. What to do when it does hit? Get through it and start another streak.
For now, I’m just enjoying the streak while it lasts. In some ways, I’m probably doing my bod a disservice by not resting more, but I feel like my body “rested” for 4 years. Now is the time to get out and do some of the things I missed. I also can’t write a post like this without acknowledging what Plexus has done for me. It’s the single thing that I changed/did differently to bring about this change.
To all those out there still suffering, I pray that you find relief–a way to get back to living a “normal” life. Until then, keep watching for that light at the end of the tunnel.